i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
