I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
