I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
