so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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