If i come over, it means nothing
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
