Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
