ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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