is your mom at the bar?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
