you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
