His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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