Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
