Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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