dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Help. Why am I so naked?
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