Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
