Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
