vagina is talking i cant
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
