i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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