I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
