i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
