her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't think brook has ever known best
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
