He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize