remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
