someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
smell my finger.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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