I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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