help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize