whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
