I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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