Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm sobbing to NWA
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
