It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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