I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
