I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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