She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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