i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
