Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize