You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
