I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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