I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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