he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
