When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
