batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
