I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
