The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
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