therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
please come you make the beer taste better
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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