She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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