I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
