Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize