if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
