so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
