It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
