Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
