I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
