Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
