I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I am naked and annoyed.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
