so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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