Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
