I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
