im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
