just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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