D3 body, D1 cock
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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