8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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