No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
