My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize